Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize