nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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