Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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