Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
