so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize