It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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