Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
