when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
