Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
