Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
