As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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