did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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