The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
