There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish you could order shots online.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
