Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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