Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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