His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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