He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
