At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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