Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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