He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
