We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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