Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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