We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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