you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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