remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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