It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
