I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
