could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
