Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't EVER smell your tampon
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
