Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
