No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
