This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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