That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
