I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
where does the pee come out of this thing
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
