Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
