I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
