Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
