i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
