There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My balls are so social today.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
