After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
