I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
