the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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