her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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