Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
