stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I deserve this hangover.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
