Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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