I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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