May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize