I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
