WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
