Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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