How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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