I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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