Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
