for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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