i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if only i could text you this smell
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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