Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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