Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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