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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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