Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
