i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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